You'll Never Get to Heaven

*Chorus: I ain't gonna grieve my lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my lord
I ain't gonna grieve my lord
I ain't gonna grieve my lord no more

Oh youíll never get to Heaven in an old ford car
Cos an old ford car wonít go that far
*
Oh youíll never get to Heaven, in a jumbo jet
Cos the lord ainít got no runways yet!
*
Oh youíll never get to Heaven on a ping pong ball
Cos a ping pong ball is much too small
*
Oh youíll never get to Heaven, in dirty jeans
Cos the lord ainít got no washing machines
*
Oh youíll never get to Heaven, on roller-skates
Cos youíll roll past those pearly gates
*
Oh youíll never get to Heaven in a limousine
Cos the lord ainít got no gasoline
*
Oh youíll never get to Heaven in a biscuit tin
Cos a biscuit tins got biscuits in
*
Oh youíll never get to Heaven on a boy scouts knee
Cos a boy scouts knee is knobbley
*
If you get to heaven before I do
Then dig a big hole and pull me through
*
Thatís all there is, there is no more
St. Peter said, as he shut the door!

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